reversed eight of cups, eight of swords

It's been a long time since I updated this blog, hasn't it? I don't think anyone's reading, or anyone cares, but it did matter to me once. Since I last updated, I got a horrible job which took up most of my time. Before that, getting out of bed was a struggle because I didn't have a job and didn't see what my life was worth at that point. Now I wish I had that free time back. Funny, how that works.

Today I went to the Celestial Seasonings factory in Boulder and took the tour. It was very... corporate. The shop was cutesy and full of fun things to buy (like tea baths! oh the joy I experienced when I saw that new no ending), the factory was clean and was full of wonderful smells, but it was certainly a friendly corporate thing? I'm not sure how to put it into words. Before the tour, I thought of the company as a nice business that helped popularize tea in the US. After the tour, I have more respect for them as a company, but am in stitches over their friendly corporate message (tm). That doesn't make sense, I know. I like contradictions. Though this isn't exactly one.

Well. I feel like the reversed Eight of Cups is hanging over my head today. I'm in a haze, I'm exhausted, I'm cut off from respite, my horizons are darkened with futility. The Eight of Swords is teasing me, too, with its restriction and stagnation. Futility is the operative word, here. Though I'd like to believe a change of scenery will help with the emotional stagnation that this phase in my life has heaped upon me, I know the only thing that will help is if I change something in myself. That, or get a more fulfilling job. Which at this point would be going back to a pub to work, ugh.

The tea bath I bought is going to go in the tub tonight. I'm counting on it to ease the tension in my life, to chase the specters of these eights away. The universally agreed-upon message of these cards is that if you want to solve your problems, reach out for help. Hopefully, reaching in will be just as well.